we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
