last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Randomize
