so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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