Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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