I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
