Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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