i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
