Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize