it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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