Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
