I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
