I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
