Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

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  (313): marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte! http://tfl.nu/25lr
  Replies (1) Good night (3724) Bad night (1514)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you

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  (586): Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you http://tfl.nu/xexu
  Replies (7) Good night (1869) Bad night (636)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging

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  (615): Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging http://tfl.nu/lrv8
  Replies (16) Good night (4252) Bad night (762)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?

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  (503): do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster? http://tfl.nu/6xmt
  Replies (20) Good night (5103) Bad night (1157)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'

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  (704): my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!' http://tfl.nu/sd3c
  Replies (41) Good night (9425) Bad night (1099)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.

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  (414): he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie. http://tfl.nu/pbor
  Replies (16) Good night (857) Bad night (4651)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

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  (412): Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends.. http://tfl.nu/z85j
  Replies (9) Good night (5186) Bad night (1467)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

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  (601): Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her? http://tfl.nu/n019
  Replies (15) Good night (7812) Bad night (1318)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?

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  (609): why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures? http://tfl.nu/ty0v
  Replies (6) Good night (2138) Bad night (1098)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?

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  (416): Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground? http://tfl.nu/za9i
  Replies (19) Good night (1257) Bad night (511)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house

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  (+61): We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house http://tfl.nu/x0d1
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (576)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

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  (706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u
  Replies (6) Good night (351) Bad night (761)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away

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  (403): Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away http://tfl.nu/gyy8
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (331)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.

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  (260): Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message. http://tfl.nu/4llk
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works

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  (647): We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works http://tfl.nu/o9x9
  Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (134)

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