if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.