we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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