Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (2133) Bad night (706)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

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  (352): I just got invited to go home with a married couple... http://tfl.nu/0i8n
  Replies (12) Good night (5750) Bad night (962)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.

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  (601): A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first. http://tfl.nu/xh2t
  Replies (18) Good night (4550) Bad night (1269)
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  (516): View more from New York

  until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life

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  (516): until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life http://tfl.nu/jc1p
  Replies (13) Good night (3672) Bad night (1124)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.

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  (847): yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her. http://tfl.nu/lht2
  Replies (14) Good night (3961) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic

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  (202): I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic http://tfl.nu/pd64
  Replies (12) Good night (1355) Bad night (4332)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.

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  (347): These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever. http://tfl.nu/3sd9
  Replies (14) Good night (3529) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers

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  (724): Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers http://tfl.nu/1uct
  Replies (27) Good night (7632) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween

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  (403): I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween http://tfl.nu/vo8h
  Replies (4) Good night (2101) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.

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  (207): Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level. http://tfl.nu/8m2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2310) Bad night (621)
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  (+93): View more from

  5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...

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  (+93): 5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting... http://tfl.nu/dzib
  Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day

  (408): View more from California

  Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry

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  (707): I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day (408): Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry http://tfl.nu/3wks
  Replies (6) Good night (938) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.

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  (859): Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested. http://tfl.nu/b8k3
  Replies (8) Good night (805) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.

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  (978): I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping. http://tfl.nu/amws
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (190)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"

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  (425): I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing" http://tfl.nu/ogw7
  Replies (4) Good night (435) Bad night (192)

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