my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize