i permit you to call me
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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