she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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