Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
