At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
