I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
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Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.