So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?