ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize