brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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