Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
