I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
