I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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