good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Oh god it's open bar.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
