You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
