By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize