Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
