for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
