Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
