she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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