i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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