It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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