Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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