We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
