OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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