are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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