I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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