I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
