i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my shit smells like andre
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
