If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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