How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
