But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
