I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
