I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
