Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
