he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
