It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize