I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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