we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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