Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
