But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
