did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
COCAINE IS GR8
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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