I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize