Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
