ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize