you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
