He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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