Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
