It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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