That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
