We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
