She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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