I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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