well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize