in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We need to get me chipped asap
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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