God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
