You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
two words: eviction party
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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