that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
